Saturday, 2 July 2011

My Book List

I love reading, but I don't seem to find the time anymore. The problem is once I get my nose in a good book I cant stop reading it and have to read the whole book in one go, and as a full time working mother I don't get time for 5 hours straight to be able to read.

I would love to find some books which I can read a chapter or two on my lunch at work or before Gary and Zane wake up. I think fiction is out of the question as once I get started I cant put the book down, so I have been looking up some "parenting" books which I think I would be interested in. We parent by using our instincts so no books required, but I realise now that the baby phase was so easy compared to the toddlerdom, so it would be good to have some back up when I am wondering how the hell to deal with something which my head and heart are split on. Oh how I was looking forward to Zane being able to crawl and then walk, we so didn't appreciate the time that he was still and didn't move very far!

Some of the books which I am going to source are

The Science Of Parenting - Margot Sunderland
Unconditional Parenting - Alfie Kohn
Three In a Bed - Deborah Jackson
Letting Go as Children Grow - Deborah Jackson
Why Love Matters - Dr. Sue Gerdhart
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves - Naomi Aldort
What Mothers Do - Naomi Stadlen
Hidden Messages - Elizabeth Pantley
How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk - Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlis
Respectful parents, respectful kids - Dirk Bernard
Learning all the Time - John Holt
Playful Parenting- Lawrence Cohen
Attachment Parenting - Kate Allison Granju

Ok, so that turned out to be quite a large list for someone who had to renew Raising Boys 10 times until the library said NO MORE!

As I said previously, we follow our instincts but I am interested in Psychology, and Behaviourism, so it is great to stretch my brain. Plus a smug part of me also likes to explain the scientific reason why Zane is doing that "naughty" thing over and over again, and to see the look on the persons face after I have said it. Yes, I am a smug parent, and very proud that I understand how my son's mind works as he is growing up.

I am most looking forward to reading The Science of Parenting as it is based on scientific fact, rather than someones opinion, it also agrees with my instinct that a child's needs should be centre stage as the childhood experiences shape the brain and patterns for later on in life.

Two others that I am looking forward to reading are Why Love Matters, and How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk. I am looking forward to Why Love Matters because this blog is a personal journey for me as a therapy for PTSD, and part of my treatment with my councillor is looking at the stage that my childhood contributed to my adult anxiety and depression. I am hoping that the book will teach me about the importance of attachment so that I can explain to people why we are so close to Zane in better words than I already do, and also see how my early attachments have affected me. I have read that it can be quite an emotional read so I'm not sure about reading so soon in my therapy process.

I am looking forward to reading How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk because I think this is going to be very useful from now. Zane doesn't "tantrum" (I hate that word!) but I would like to know more about empathising with how he is feeling when he is upset, and I think that it will also be very useful when he is growing up and will help us have a respectful relationship.

So after doing all of this reading my bank balance will be smaller, but my knowledge will be greater so it will be worth it. I want to share some insightful passages on here as I find them, I would love to hear what other people have thought about these books, and also other books that they would recommend. I think it is clear to see from our book list that we practice gentle parenting so no Gina Ford or Supernanny please! :-)

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